Because Mondays Suck Ass

I thought I could bring some cheer to your otherwise chronically sucking Monday. From my good friend, David, please enjoy the hilariousness...

:-)

You can be the strange one. Yes you can!

Today with a TheraFlu hangover, 4 hours of sleep, a stomach full of tea, and a 13 hour day in front of me, I'm entertaining myself (and I guess you) by coming up with a list of things you can do to pass the time. This is my original list and to the best of my knowledge none of these items have appeared on any list before in any circulation. If that proves to be untrue, please let me know and I'll remove it. Here goes....

10 Things You Can Do to Entertain Yourself at Work

1. Yell from your office, or desk, "That's what I'm talking about! Hell yea!". When someone comes to find out what the fuss is about say, "I did a spell check and it didn't find any errors".

2. Go into the bathroom and pull enough toilet paper from the roll to stick down the back of your pants/skirt/dress and drag about 5 feet behind you on the floor. When someone alerts you to your "trail", tell them that you were just thinking ahead. If they give you a blank stare, lean in and say, "its better than spotting"

3. Before you go to work, buy two 12-packs of dentyne gum. In front of one or many people, pop out all 12 pieces and put them in your mouth. Chew for a few seconds and then pretend to check your breath. Look disappointed in the smell and pull the second pack out of your pocket. Start popping some pieces out into your hand and then look up to see who's looking. Act secretive and walk away.

4. Ask the secretary for one paper clip. A few minutes later, go back and ask her for one more paper clip. Repeat until she offers more. Decline and take just one more. Return every few minutes to ask for another one. Keep assuring her that you wont be back for another.

5. When someone who annoys you at work is printing something the same time you are and the printer is out of paper, reload the paper one sheet at a time. If they voice their displeasure at your pace, point to the note from management/facilities/other instructing that paper be loaded one sheet at a time until further notice (you printed this earlier).

6. Randomly walk past someones desk and ask, "Are you heading to that meeting?". Before they answer, keep walking (works best by a door). As you're walking away say, "I'm on my way there now. See you there". If they follow you, head to the bathroom.

7. Tape two pennies to a post-it note and write "Thanks anyway" on it and leave it on someones desk you can see or hear from where you are. Claim ignorance if they ask who left it there.

8. Put strips of double-sided tape under a person's mouse on their desk and see how long they struggle to move it.

9. Take a bunch of paper clips and form the words "We're watching you" on someones desk. After they freak out, let them in on the joke (optional).

10. Put a ring tone of a long, loud fart on your phone and tape it under a random chair in a meeting you are in before people come in. Have a friend call you 15 minutes into the meeting and watch what happens.

If you try any of these, post the result.

*** Not responsible for termination and/or other consequences of trying this at your place of employment. Try at your own risk! ***

New Beginnings

A Picture is worth a thousand words...

The Genesis

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is it! This is the day that starts the rest of our lives, our generation and those to follow. We have effectively began the process of change, that will result in the development of a unified nation. From all angles, all walks of life, all races, genders, and sexual orientations and classes. The road to recovery has begun. The 2008 President elect is Barack Obama. The first lady is a strong, beautiful, and very centered Black Woman and the first family, for the first time, is creating an environment of positive change, and patriotism in the hearts and souls of the people who have long been forgotten.

I am proud to be of the millions who voted our man into office.

I'm speechless... and proud... and excited... and hopeful.

O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA!


until next time.

Election Day 2008

With so much talk about change during the last two years, one has to realize that a third of the job has already taken place. Consider the amount of voters who have been registered this year. Consider the spike in registered voters who have ventured out today, in the elements, waited in LONG lines, took off from work, traveled, to make sure they voted. More than ever in history. Consider that for the first time, an African American man, has a REALLY good chance at two-stepping his way into the Oval Office, to take up the most powerful position in the world. Consider the diverse audience in support of his policy. From blacks, to whites, and all in between, young to old, from all walks of life. Consider his policy, his position, to reverse the usual ways of government, typically driven by self-serving desires and run by the power of the dollar. That "my friends" is already a huge step taken. An example that proves Barack Obama has the power, the influence, the desire, and the drive to make change. We have seen him change things amazingly over the past two years. We will see him make change over the next 4-8 years. But the only way to do that is to get out and vote.

Barack Obama for President...

Until next time.

Sacrifice

Relationships are all about give and take, 50/50, and sacrifice. But when is enough, enough? I’ve recently had the fortunate experience of being sacrificed at a high emotional and financial cost by someone who consciously, or unconsciously, pinned me in a social corner. I say fortunately, because adversity has the lucky side effect of promoting wisdom. Not that I was a victim, but I was a student in the process and have now learned the art of escaping cognitive dissonance.

When forced to make a lose/lose decision, how can you be sure you are making the correct one? Any door you open will require a sacrifice. You have to decide whether the sacrifice you make crosses your personal boundaries. Because even dipping your big toe on the other side of the line is still crossing it.

Sacrifice, I have learned, does not mean cutting yourself in half for the fulfillment of another person. Even if he or she is a close friend or more. But sacrifice is merely postponing a selfish want in order to satisfy another person’s current need and knowing that reciprocity will be redeemed at a later date.

In the interim, "forgiveness is knowing that there could have been no different past." Fortunately for me, there will be a different future.


until next time.

The Countdown

The silly season of politics is reaching its peak as the election comes to a close, less than 24 hours before the polls open for citizens to vote. With the winding down of the most important, most life altering election, some people are getting quite creative with their shenanigans. From false fliers to ridiculous robo-calls, people-- mostly Obama supporters-- are becoming the victims of faulty information as a means to prevent us from going confidently to the polls to Barack our Vote. Some have been told that November 4th is the voting day for Republicans, while November 5th is the voting for Democrats. Some have found fliers in their doors, on their cars, or posted publicly stating lies about Obama and his alleged affiliations with terrorist groups, and even linking him to the Holocaust. (I can only roll my eyes and shake my head at this foolishness.) And at least one supporter has been threatened with deportation by a “private investigator”, sent by a fraudulent republican committee.

If you are one who has received a flier, a phone call, or an undesired visitor trying to convince you of arrest, deportation, or a switcharoo in voting dates, DO NOT FALL FOR IT. I repeat, DO NOT FALL FOR IT. These are all scare tactics, coming at the last minute in a lame attempt at trying to limit the voters who have the right to vote to exercise that right. Do not be manipulated. If you are registered (which I hope you all are), GO VOTE! There is NO excuse.

This is a time in our era that will determine the fate of the rest of the world, for the rest of time. We will be affected today…and our great-great-great-great-great-great grandkids will be as well.

With that, please take note of the following information for tomorrow’s election day.

Now, it is time to VOTE.

Things to remember on Election Day:

1. Get to the polls AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.
2. If given a choice between some form of paper ballot and some form of electronic ballot, CHOOSE PAPER. If need be, paper ballots can be re-counted,
3. DO NOT wear Obama stuff to the polls. (This includes, buttons, hats,shirts, underwear, etc.) Don't chance it.
4. Expect LONG LINES. Be prepared. Dress warmly. Bring something to read, if you like. But leave anything written by Barack Obama at home. (Don't invite any unnecessary misunderstandings). Leave your gameboys, PSPs and other electronic devices at home (polling places tend to frown on these things).
5. STAY IN LINE. It is the most important line you've ever stood in. Make apit-stop *BEFORE* you go to the polls.
6. Get to the polls AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.
7. If the ballot or the instructions are not clear, raise your hand, and ASK the election Officials. Each county will have something different, so make sure that you understand what you're doing. Don't guess. Don't assume. Don't be tricked by a "Butterfly Ballot".
8. No campaigning inside of the polls. Don't try to tell anyone how to vote. Don't discuss with anyone how you're voting.
9. Get to the polls AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.
10. MOST IMPORTANT: Vote For Barack Obama (President) and Joe Biden (Vice President)
    

Be smart, and be safe!

Rain or Shine, Sleet or Snow, GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND VOTE!

(information provided courtesy of my good friend Aaron)

Fate

“I don’t believe in Fate”. My fun-loving friend boldly stated over the weekend as we discussed the current state of her relationship with her long-term boyfriend. She wondered whether it was worth remaining or better to leave. Given that the good and the bad tended to cancel each other out, she finds herself neither enthusiastic nor repulsed by the relationship. Based on my knowledge of her situation, I advised her to date around, not for the purpose of finding new love, per se, but for the purpose of growth. It is my intuition that they will ultimately be together, but there’s a period of personal expansion that she needs. Growing is fate. We’re all destined to be more than we were the day before. If you ask me, fate is certainly worth believing in.

We have very little control and only two choices in our entire life. We are born into circumstance and we exist in circumstance. We don’t choose the situations we ultimately end up experiencing. We only choose whether we’re going to experience the scenario painfully or peacefully. But regardless, we’re going to go through it. And that’s that. So basically, fate is a very real thing. I use the example of death. I’m going to die. You will too, if you weren’t aware. From now until then, I have two choices: 1. To live life to the fullest or 2. To live life controlled by limits. Those are our choices. In every situation, every day, every moment. My analysis of the situation is oversimplified as there are variables that effect how we make one of those two decisions, but the point is that there are only two. When you realize and accept that, you are then easily able to disassociate yourself with the petty dramas and self-created pitfalls that accompany the weather of life.

The weather will be what it will be. Some days it will rain. The simple solution is to remember your umbrella. Protective mechanisms can only help you so far. We create walls that provide a false sense of security from the “damage” that life’s harms create. But really there is no insurance from trauma. The act of “protecting” ourselves from adversity, only prevent us from developing. Take a breakup for example. Breakups suck! The ending of what you thought would last a lifetime (if not longer) can create a myriad of negative emotions. But really, what is an ending but a beginning in disguise? Often it takes a bit of time to realize this, but once you do, everything changes. Fate may be that you two are not meant to be, and if this is the case, no matter what you coulda, woulda, shoulda done will not change the outcome. The only thing you can do is decide what will happen within you. It’s natural to mope and sulk in the beginning of a trauma, but eventually (sooner than later) you have to actively decide that you are going to be fine. And before you know it, the sun comes out again.

I always say life is like a wave, sometimes you’re in the trough, sometimes you’re on the crest. Just ride the wave. There is no such thing as good or bad. There just is. Life is neutral; only your internal state of being can be good or bad. How you react to a situation determines the situation. Not the situation itself.

I am a believer. Not in life, love and the pursuit of happiness, but in fate. Que Sera, Sera. What will be, will be.

Until next time.