Relationships are all about give and take, 50/50, and sacrifice. But when is enough, enough? I’ve recently had the fortunate experience of being sacrificed at a high emotional and financial cost by someone who consciously, or unconsciously, pinned me in a social corner. I say fortunately, because adversity has the lucky side effect of promoting wisdom. Not that I was a victim, but I was a student in the process and have now learned the art of escaping cognitive dissonance.
When forced to make a lose/lose decision, how can you be sure you are making the correct one? Any door you open will require a sacrifice. You have to decide whether the sacrifice you make crosses your personal boundaries. Because even dipping your big toe on the other side of the line is still crossing it.
Sacrifice, I have learned, does not mean cutting yourself in half for the fulfillment of another person. Even if he or she is a close friend or more. But sacrifice is merely postponing a selfish want in order to satisfy another person’s current need and knowing that reciprocity will be redeemed at a later date.
In the interim, "forgiveness is knowing that there could have been no different past." Fortunately for me, there will be a different future.
until next time.
2 comments:
Sacrifice. That word is both positive and negative. It takes a good person to sacrifice themselves (or something within themselves) for someone else. But it is an act that leaves you vulnerable to many levels of disappointment, pain and drama/stress. Sacrifice, by nature, doesn't imply future reciprocity. But it does imply that the person who sacrificed something does so with the best of intention and the purest of heart. The problem with lose/lose decisions is that there is no correct choice; only the least disappointing/painful/drama-filled choice. Lose/lose decisions never directly benefit the person with the choice. But the choice, many times, indirectly provides insight into the two situations presenting the choices. In many cases, you learn more about the two situations than you may have known or wanted to admit. Sacrificing has the ability to show you what is most important in your life; you. Sometimes, you just need the volume turned up.
DAMN. Maybe I should post your comment as the post. Very true indeed. And as it were, the volume is turned up ALL THE WAY. Because trust I've figured the shit out. Also, by reciprocity and sacrifice, it's related to relationships. Not sacrifice in and of itself. The idea of a relationship is that you shouldn't have to worry about yourself. Only your mate and vice versa. That you sacrifice something for now, to provide for your mate, and at another time, your mate provides for you.
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