Faith

Have Faith. People say these two little words to appease the inevitable anxiety experienced due to lack of knowledge of the future. I'm in a position where all of the chips are up in the air. Love, career, and social matters all have a beginning, yet none of them have a clear path ahead of me. I suppose this is, by definition, the meaning of Life. Embarking on a journey. And the very nature of a journey is to experience the unknown.

But sometimes you just need a hint. A hunch. A bone. A something that let's you know you are on the right track. Or at least on a track that is headed forward, and not into a dead-end.

Have Faith. How does one get faith to begin with? And once it's been had, how does one hold on to it? It can, in fact, be quite elusive when the signs aren't pointing to the final destination.

Take Love for example. Love has a way of cleverly playing hide and seek when you wish it would just give up and show itself. Then, just when you think you've sniffed out its hiding spot, you find yourself lost in a forest, with no track marks to find your way back to civilization. Having faith in this situation is easy in terms of accepting that you will eventually make your way back to camp (as in, return to your "normal" self). But the need to find love never escapes you. It's like the first high a crack addict experiences and seeks for years to experience again. Having faith that you will eventually grab a hold of love's hand before it escapes you again is quite difficult to get a good grasp on.

I'm still trying to find the faith that I will find love and it will not run away. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy watching the $1000 career and social chips fall on lucky number 27. When I figure this faith thing out, I'll let you know. And if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.

Until we chat again....