New Beginnings

A Picture is worth a thousand words...

The Genesis

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is it! This is the day that starts the rest of our lives, our generation and those to follow. We have effectively began the process of change, that will result in the development of a unified nation. From all angles, all walks of life, all races, genders, and sexual orientations and classes. The road to recovery has begun. The 2008 President elect is Barack Obama. The first lady is a strong, beautiful, and very centered Black Woman and the first family, for the first time, is creating an environment of positive change, and patriotism in the hearts and souls of the people who have long been forgotten.

I am proud to be of the millions who voted our man into office.

I'm speechless... and proud... and excited... and hopeful.

O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA!


until next time.

Election Day 2008

With so much talk about change during the last two years, one has to realize that a third of the job has already taken place. Consider the amount of voters who have been registered this year. Consider the spike in registered voters who have ventured out today, in the elements, waited in LONG lines, took off from work, traveled, to make sure they voted. More than ever in history. Consider that for the first time, an African American man, has a REALLY good chance at two-stepping his way into the Oval Office, to take up the most powerful position in the world. Consider the diverse audience in support of his policy. From blacks, to whites, and all in between, young to old, from all walks of life. Consider his policy, his position, to reverse the usual ways of government, typically driven by self-serving desires and run by the power of the dollar. That "my friends" is already a huge step taken. An example that proves Barack Obama has the power, the influence, the desire, and the drive to make change. We have seen him change things amazingly over the past two years. We will see him make change over the next 4-8 years. But the only way to do that is to get out and vote.

Barack Obama for President...

Until next time.

Sacrifice

Relationships are all about give and take, 50/50, and sacrifice. But when is enough, enough? I’ve recently had the fortunate experience of being sacrificed at a high emotional and financial cost by someone who consciously, or unconsciously, pinned me in a social corner. I say fortunately, because adversity has the lucky side effect of promoting wisdom. Not that I was a victim, but I was a student in the process and have now learned the art of escaping cognitive dissonance.

When forced to make a lose/lose decision, how can you be sure you are making the correct one? Any door you open will require a sacrifice. You have to decide whether the sacrifice you make crosses your personal boundaries. Because even dipping your big toe on the other side of the line is still crossing it.

Sacrifice, I have learned, does not mean cutting yourself in half for the fulfillment of another person. Even if he or she is a close friend or more. But sacrifice is merely postponing a selfish want in order to satisfy another person’s current need and knowing that reciprocity will be redeemed at a later date.

In the interim, "forgiveness is knowing that there could have been no different past." Fortunately for me, there will be a different future.


until next time.

The Countdown

The silly season of politics is reaching its peak as the election comes to a close, less than 24 hours before the polls open for citizens to vote. With the winding down of the most important, most life altering election, some people are getting quite creative with their shenanigans. From false fliers to ridiculous robo-calls, people-- mostly Obama supporters-- are becoming the victims of faulty information as a means to prevent us from going confidently to the polls to Barack our Vote. Some have been told that November 4th is the voting day for Republicans, while November 5th is the voting for Democrats. Some have found fliers in their doors, on their cars, or posted publicly stating lies about Obama and his alleged affiliations with terrorist groups, and even linking him to the Holocaust. (I can only roll my eyes and shake my head at this foolishness.) And at least one supporter has been threatened with deportation by a “private investigator”, sent by a fraudulent republican committee.

If you are one who has received a flier, a phone call, or an undesired visitor trying to convince you of arrest, deportation, or a switcharoo in voting dates, DO NOT FALL FOR IT. I repeat, DO NOT FALL FOR IT. These are all scare tactics, coming at the last minute in a lame attempt at trying to limit the voters who have the right to vote to exercise that right. Do not be manipulated. If you are registered (which I hope you all are), GO VOTE! There is NO excuse.

This is a time in our era that will determine the fate of the rest of the world, for the rest of time. We will be affected today…and our great-great-great-great-great-great grandkids will be as well.

With that, please take note of the following information for tomorrow’s election day.

Now, it is time to VOTE.

Things to remember on Election Day:

1. Get to the polls AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.
2. If given a choice between some form of paper ballot and some form of electronic ballot, CHOOSE PAPER. If need be, paper ballots can be re-counted,
3. DO NOT wear Obama stuff to the polls. (This includes, buttons, hats,shirts, underwear, etc.) Don't chance it.
4. Expect LONG LINES. Be prepared. Dress warmly. Bring something to read, if you like. But leave anything written by Barack Obama at home. (Don't invite any unnecessary misunderstandings). Leave your gameboys, PSPs and other electronic devices at home (polling places tend to frown on these things).
5. STAY IN LINE. It is the most important line you've ever stood in. Make apit-stop *BEFORE* you go to the polls.
6. Get to the polls AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.
7. If the ballot or the instructions are not clear, raise your hand, and ASK the election Officials. Each county will have something different, so make sure that you understand what you're doing. Don't guess. Don't assume. Don't be tricked by a "Butterfly Ballot".
8. No campaigning inside of the polls. Don't try to tell anyone how to vote. Don't discuss with anyone how you're voting.
9. Get to the polls AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.
10. MOST IMPORTANT: Vote For Barack Obama (President) and Joe Biden (Vice President)
    

Be smart, and be safe!

Rain or Shine, Sleet or Snow, GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND VOTE!

(information provided courtesy of my good friend Aaron)

Fate

“I don’t believe in Fate”. My fun-loving friend boldly stated over the weekend as we discussed the current state of her relationship with her long-term boyfriend. She wondered whether it was worth remaining or better to leave. Given that the good and the bad tended to cancel each other out, she finds herself neither enthusiastic nor repulsed by the relationship. Based on my knowledge of her situation, I advised her to date around, not for the purpose of finding new love, per se, but for the purpose of growth. It is my intuition that they will ultimately be together, but there’s a period of personal expansion that she needs. Growing is fate. We’re all destined to be more than we were the day before. If you ask me, fate is certainly worth believing in.

We have very little control and only two choices in our entire life. We are born into circumstance and we exist in circumstance. We don’t choose the situations we ultimately end up experiencing. We only choose whether we’re going to experience the scenario painfully or peacefully. But regardless, we’re going to go through it. And that’s that. So basically, fate is a very real thing. I use the example of death. I’m going to die. You will too, if you weren’t aware. From now until then, I have two choices: 1. To live life to the fullest or 2. To live life controlled by limits. Those are our choices. In every situation, every day, every moment. My analysis of the situation is oversimplified as there are variables that effect how we make one of those two decisions, but the point is that there are only two. When you realize and accept that, you are then easily able to disassociate yourself with the petty dramas and self-created pitfalls that accompany the weather of life.

The weather will be what it will be. Some days it will rain. The simple solution is to remember your umbrella. Protective mechanisms can only help you so far. We create walls that provide a false sense of security from the “damage” that life’s harms create. But really there is no insurance from trauma. The act of “protecting” ourselves from adversity, only prevent us from developing. Take a breakup for example. Breakups suck! The ending of what you thought would last a lifetime (if not longer) can create a myriad of negative emotions. But really, what is an ending but a beginning in disguise? Often it takes a bit of time to realize this, but once you do, everything changes. Fate may be that you two are not meant to be, and if this is the case, no matter what you coulda, woulda, shoulda done will not change the outcome. The only thing you can do is decide what will happen within you. It’s natural to mope and sulk in the beginning of a trauma, but eventually (sooner than later) you have to actively decide that you are going to be fine. And before you know it, the sun comes out again.

I always say life is like a wave, sometimes you’re in the trough, sometimes you’re on the crest. Just ride the wave. There is no such thing as good or bad. There just is. Life is neutral; only your internal state of being can be good or bad. How you react to a situation determines the situation. Not the situation itself.

I am a believer. Not in life, love and the pursuit of happiness, but in fate. Que Sera, Sera. What will be, will be.

Until next time.

You Complete Me

"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." - Raymond Hull

The film Jerry Maguire was made famous by an array of popular one liners that mimicked, if not, ridiculed the egoic existence of human experience. On one hand we have Cuba Gooding Jr. playing a rambunctious football star who, while jumping up and down, demands that Tom Cruise’s character show him the money. In a different scene we see Tom Cruise’s character make an attempt to display his affections for Renee Zellwegger’s character, by telling her “you complete me”.

You Complete Me.

Although the scene stealing gesture brought a mist to the eyes of the faint of heart, the words themselves have a great meaning beyond the surface of what they are intended to describe. On one hand it’s easy to believe that his You Complete Me, comment is merely a synonym for saying the other three words, I love You. If he were in love, he could’ve simply said, “I love you”. Makes for great reality, but apparently not good enough for TV. Now let’s assume this happens in real life. You partner says to you, “you complete me”. It would probably make you feel good, but should it? Wouldn’t this mean your partner is so fragmented in their own being, that they need you – a whole separate and completely different person - to make them whole? I think so. What about when your partner complains about you not completing them? When he or she needs you to alter your personality in order for them to feel, assured, secure, attractive, wanted, loved, or in some way satisfied for being in a relationship with you. Isn’t there something a bit wrong with that picture? What happened to the idea of accepting the person you are with, flaws and all?

We’re all perfect, in that we have strengths and weaknesses that create the whole person whom we are. If we were absent of flaws or absent of perfections, then we’d be imperfect. But that’s not the case for any of us. We all have positives and negatives and these combined traits are what create a balanced, whole, individual. Understanding that, we then meet a potential partner who we see as a whole person until we’re exposed to the flaws that we previously perceived as insignificant. Over time, infatuation no longer has the strength to hold up our perceptions as their flaws continuously unfold before our very eyes. Then we build this approach to changing the person’s negatives as a means to make our relationship with our partner more bearable. Isn’t it just the start of the end at this point? I mean we cannot shape and mold a person to be our ideal… We can only be our own ideal and hope that our efforts are reflected.

On one hand, change is necessary for every whole person who is a part of a pair. There are certain behaviors we have as singles that must be pushed out in order to be in a relationship. For example, we can’t have various relationships with multiple people if we are agreeing to being monogamous with one person. That’s a change that’s necessary for a relationship to flourish. But when a requested change is something like “I need you to be a more aggressive person because that would satisfy me more in this relationship” or “ I want you to speak to me the way my ex used to” , these are more examples of the personality conflicts that I have discussed in the previous paragraph. Understand also that these statements can be cleverly hidden in words that are less blunt but nonetheless abrasive. These are examples of the person needing you to complete them in order for them to be happy. The truth is that these are relationships that will be short lived.

Working on a relationship is required in order for it to be a lasting one, however, there’s an art in knowing that a relationship needs work, or needs to end. When someone used to do something and you miss it, requesting them to continue the behavior you’ve grown accustomed to, is working on the relationship. Asking them to do something totally different and unlike who they are, is not. If you’re unsure about how that person feels about you, simply ask. If they answer you, and you’re in a monogamous relationship, trust what they tell you. Maybe you like to hear it a lot and your partner isn’t prone to grand gestures of verbal expressions of love, but he or she is very giving of her time and affection. Pay attention to that. The story is the same, only delivered differently. Don’t assume that if they don’t say and do exactly what your personal guidebook describes, that they aren’t into you. You could just be reading the signals incorrectly. If it gets to a point where you are unable to deal with the difference in expression, then move on to someone who gives you what you want.

You can’t change a person. You can only accept and stay… or accept and leave.

Until next time.