Cure Fear by Living in the Moment

"We settle on a perspective, and then we collect evidence to support our outlook".

As an avid reader of psychology, theology, and philosophy, I found this particular quote both transcendental and moving.

When we look at a situation going on in our lives, what we see is a combination of past events and present expectations. The images that come to mind catalyze our deepest fears, and as a consequence we go into fight or flight mode emotionally. Being that emotions are the epicenter of our spiritual existence, it is the one thing we guard with hyper-aggression. Probably more than our own physical safety. For example, sometimes we fear failure, so much so that we prevent ourselves from even taking the first step toward accomplishing a goal. We decide that procrastination is a better method for dealing with the fear, and rationalize the putting off of certain goals by claiming we are unable to accomplish it; all before even understanding what it may ask of us to complete. Yet, we risk driving recklessly, under the influence, at night, in the rain. The odds of physical harm are ten times more likely to become a part of our experience than a failure that will end up crippling our dreams for the rest of our lives.

If risk is inevitable for acquiring satisfaction, why then is emotional risk hindered by irrational phobias? Fears develop as we attain experiences-- usually unpleasant ones -- and we make an attempt to protect ourselves from repeating that undesirable outcome again. Which is good, because it shows that we have learned something in the process. That we have learned not to repeat the same mistake. The downside is due to becoming hyper vigilant about not succumbing to the situations that have caused us such pain in the past. Usually this extreme need to protect only serves to draw in the undesired outcome. That which we fear the most, almost always ends up unfolding before our eyes.

So let not the evidence of your reality, mimic the perspective of your perceived past, and instead, live simply; in the moment.

Faith

Have Faith. People say these two little words to appease the inevitable anxiety experienced due to lack of knowledge of the future. I'm in a position where all of the chips are up in the air. Love, career, and social matters all have a beginning, yet none of them have a clear path ahead of me. I suppose this is, by definition, the meaning of Life. Embarking on a journey. And the very nature of a journey is to experience the unknown.

But sometimes you just need a hint. A hunch. A bone. A something that let's you know you are on the right track. Or at least on a track that is headed forward, and not into a dead-end.

Have Faith. How does one get faith to begin with? And once it's been had, how does one hold on to it? It can, in fact, be quite elusive when the signs aren't pointing to the final destination.

Take Love for example. Love has a way of cleverly playing hide and seek when you wish it would just give up and show itself. Then, just when you think you've sniffed out its hiding spot, you find yourself lost in a forest, with no track marks to find your way back to civilization. Having faith in this situation is easy in terms of accepting that you will eventually make your way back to camp (as in, return to your "normal" self). But the need to find love never escapes you. It's like the first high a crack addict experiences and seeks for years to experience again. Having faith that you will eventually grab a hold of love's hand before it escapes you again is quite difficult to get a good grasp on.

I'm still trying to find the faith that I will find love and it will not run away. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy watching the $1000 career and social chips fall on lucky number 27. When I figure this faith thing out, I'll let you know. And if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.

Until we chat again....

Indifference: Saving lives since 2000 B.C.

"Just thinking about you. Wanted to say hello." Rang a random text from the ex.

"...silence..." My (non)response to the text.

Indifference is a beautiful thing. A true expression that proves you have completely moved on.

The Funny Thing About Breakups

The funny thing about breakups is that you expect your world to come crashing down when (and if) it happens. But like the pheonix rising from the ashes, you always learn and move on. So I leave with this quick quote:

"I expected emptiness in the aftermath. Instead I found fulfillment in the freedom."
~G


Until next time...

I believe in the power of the universe

I’m always surprised to find out that someone considers them self to be an Atheist. Generally these are people who are in fact sweet, intelligent, emotionally stable individuals. Too consider myself to be sweet, intelligent, and emotionally stable. But I am no Atheist. And after the unfolding of the last seven months of my life, I have NO DOUBT that there is SOMETHING “out there” that’s running this show. I’m not one of those “go to church three times a week and quote the bible every chance I get, converting folk to my religion” type. I’m just a person with perception who has the fortunate vision to see life unfolding in a manically methodical way.

If you take the time to sit back and watch, you’ll be amazed at how one piece came from the last and leads to the next. Nothing happens for naught. There is always an explanation because even the single most seemingly insignificant moment can have a sincerely profound effect on what may occur next. Just think of a time when you’ve said “What if I never had said/done/gone ______”. And think of the events that followed when you made the decision. We always talk about seeing the “big picture”. The funny thing about that is we always wish we could’ve seen it before we actually did. It never works that way. It would be too easy. Lessons are not intended for people who already know the information. They are for those of us in need of learning. We all learn the hard way. There is no other way to learn. And the things that occur are for the single purpose of learning something. You know you’ve learned it when you see the big picture. Like Freamon from The Wire said “…and all the pieces matter.” This is true in life in order to see the big the picture. For example, when you’re driving, you don’t just see the one car in front of you. You see the street, signs, all that is around you. This is the big picture. This is life. And this is not a sporadic thing. And these things don’t occur because somehow they magically appear out of nowhere. They occur because whatever up above has determined that in order for us to take the next step, we must take this step first. There are no skipping steps, and for those of us who make the silly mistake of doing so, we always fall back down to the bottom.

The Power of the Universe will ensure that your next step is available. But you have to open your eyes to see it. You have the free will to take it and you will be rewarded for your choice. Rewards come in what we may call good…or what we may call bad. But the truth is, there are no such things. Everything is neutral. When you open door number one…you get an answer. When you open door number two, you get an answer. They are neutral. One is not good and the other is not bad. Based on which you choose, you learn a lesson. This is the universe at work. Don’t fight the universe. You will lose. Believe in the power of the universe. Give in to the power of the universe. When the time comes, the big picture will reveal itself to you.

I believe in the power of the universe.
Until next time…

How to Fight a Sociopath and Win

With all this talk about pathological liars and sociopaths and such, I've found myself knee-deep in internet and book research on the topic and I came across a blog written by a self-proclaimed sociopath. I found this article, particularly interesting: How to Fight a Sociopath and Win

The Truth about Truth

Even after all the clues have been put together, new questions continue to arise and the hole you thought was filling is really only growing larger. You can keep digging for new clues as each answer leads down a rabbit hole of additional questions and endless possibilities until you're inevitably involved in the situation you only wanted to remain an observer of. That's when you have to decide or at least realize that sometimes the best answer is no answer. You may never know the truth or the answer to top all answers (thus all questions) but maybe that's to your benefit.

They say curiosity kills the cat. A cliche that's anything but myth. That space in your mind left open to the possibilities may be better off than the one filled with the nagging memory of hardcore truth.

The wife infuriated by suspicions of her husband's philandering may find that not knowing is frustrating. But she may find it much harder to live after catching him in the act with his mistress. Question after question has an answer that's goes deeper into the malicious mystery. The memory of suspicion is short lived however the memory of truth never disappears. It manifests itself in every aspect of your life. For the wife, her ability to trust is shattered and she spends the rest of her life gluing the pieces together. She questions the motives of any man who approaches her. She questions the witty comment made by her boss, taking it personally as she is unable to distinguish whether or not he's crossed the line into sexual harassment. She questions herself and her ability to make sound decisions. She will forever engage in internal dialogue that causes her to question a person's motives.

Ignorance vs. Awareness.

Truth. The foundation of enlightenment or the gateway to emotional and psychological ruin?